Firstly there’s been good news, well excellent news on a personal level. My anxiety is almost entirely gone. Poof. My arch-nemesis packed its bags overnight and vacated the mental realms. For as long as I can remember I’ve had anxiety, with it becoming exacerbated in 2010 and then in 2013 to the point of needing meds. It’s been a long road fighting anxiety, constantly gaining ground then losing it.
Nothing is worse than having that insidious voice inside one’s head, questioning every little thing said or done. It’s a bit of a living nightmare when you know you’re overreacting/imagining absurd scenarios but you can’t really stop your brain from trotting those thoughts out. Coping techniques helped curb the worst of it and whenever I felt I was on top of the anxiety, that little voice always came back.
This time though, things feel different. It’s gone and doesn’t feel like it’s going to make a comeback anytime soon like it used to. This time, I know it’s gone.
This sort-of correlates with an eighty-sixing of coffee intake. I was/am? hooked on the stuff, downing 2-4 cups a day using it as an energy boost in the morning and for assignment work (fitting your uni student stereotype quite well). No wonder the anxiety wasn’t really going anywhere. Anyhow, last Sunday was when the decision was made to cut coffee out completely. Considering I was going through a lot of spare change at uni for a large coffee and putting away the instant stuff at home, yeah. Sure it looks like the coffee is wholly responsible but I did manage to contain my anxiety whilst downing a lot of coffee.
Purely anecdotal of course, but almost overnight I just felt…better. Full of life.
Currently feeling really really good about life- motivation is up and an exceptional grade (re: top of class, something never before seen for me) on a progress exam has me cheerful and motivated to keep that grade high. (Was 9.5/10% of the course thus far, needless to say, I don’t want to slack off in that subject). Sure, progress assessment but still I usually top out around 7.2/10 for things like that. Going to reward splurge on a regular 40k dreadnought soon enough 😛
So far I’m 4 days coffee free, but not entirely caffeine free as chocolate and tea aren’t as high dose as 2-4 coffees and I don’t consume either in the quantities of coffee. Well, ok, 2-4 cups of tea but tis half decaf tea ^_^ It’s a thing! Haven’t had the slightest inkling to drink coffee in any form nor any desire to.
Posting this here as while it may not be a big deal for people reading this, but it’s a huge deal for me. It’s like, the single best thing to happen to me all year 😀