The Warlock’s Fantastical Misadventures in the Fabled Lands: Part 1, F**k that guy

Hey all,

A while back on my now deceased former blog, I talked about the solo-rpg book series: The Fabled Lands. Having no more assessment save for exams coupled with 0 painting drive, I’m going on an adventure! Sort-of. There’s photos of the adventure recording so I can keep track of where I’ve been and so I know where I’ve left off. Additionally it’s handy as it shows you all I’m not making this up. Heh.

Bill Igerant is as of 2015, my default RPG character name
Bill Igerant is as of 2015, my default RPG character name

Character sheet reads: Bill Igerant, a 4th rank Wayfarer

Anyhow, enjoy a series of rambling comments resembling a tale 😛

The sun beat down on Bill as he awoke in his small lifeboat, the waves stretching for miles without end. He groaned slightly at his fate as he remembered the events leading up to his current circumstances. Having signed up for an adventure on the high seas, the ship he was a passenger of was attacked by pirates (how cliche) and in the chaos, the cutter was lost barring a lucky few who made it to the life boats, though no others seemed to be made it this far. Lying back and waiting for death, Bill is tossed unceremoniously onto a beach at the expense of his transport. Brushing himself off, Bill entered the nearby city of Yamimura.

Upon arrival, Bill learned that Yamimura was under the control of the Clan of the White Spear. The knowledge is meaningless to Bill and he soon heads off into the Thieves Kitchen, a hive of scum and villainy of the typical fantasy trope kind. A tavern is located, and trouble brews as a local nomad is disgruntled by Bill’s apparent lack of courtesy (apparently trying to strike random conversations is frowned upon). Combat ensues and Bill effortlessly kills the nomad and takes the 12 shards left on the table bringing his total amount of money up to 28 shards. He leaves before there is further trouble.

A short visit to another tavern wastes his time as does a visit to the Merchant’s guild. Investing within the guild requires at least 100shards, a sum Bill could only dream of. Supplementing his disappointment is a visit to the Silk market, where one needs a ship in order to procure supplies and cargo. Swearing to whichever god is around to hear, Bill  leaves the city and visits the Villa of Hordeth only to be turned away again. Friends are hard to come by in this country, as is tolerance, compassion, and general helpfulness.

Thoroughly annoyed, Bill then ventured into the Cliff woods, leaving immediately when a witch offers to read his fortune for 10 shards. He’s not made of shards and doesn’t believe in fortunes. After heading back to the same spot, a decision was made to head West into the steppes. An unlucky 2D6 roll ensured that Bill encountered a Gruesome Punishment…for a captive as Bill stumbled upon a nomad encampment where a chief was busily torturing the aforementioned captive.

Bill ANNOUNCED HIS GLORIOUS PRESENCE, prompting the nomad chief to poke him in the stomach, grab the back of his neck, press his face nose-to-nose and then proclaim ‘Fineitri’. His personal space thoroughly invaded, a very unsettled Bill utters ‘Fineitri’ back to the chief- which turns out to be a gesture of friendship. The Jerky of Friendship is obtained and consumed while the captive dies. While Bill did not intend to find the encampment, he is disappointed that he could not save the captive. Bill leaves the nomads with a well-earned +1 to charisma (total of 4 now) and proceeds to lose 1 stamina (19 down from 20) as he did not buy warm clothes and the steppes are cold….and full of voles, as a successful scouting roll reveals. Bill feasts on the voles (needed a 12, rolled box cars + a scouting of 7) and does not lose any further stamina through hunger. The night is dark and full of voles. In the morning, Bill heads further south.

Roaming rather featureless plains, a 2D6 roll of 11 reveals a miserable peddler (of magic?) traveling nearby. The man is clearly upset and is miserable. Despite this, Bill approaches and is beckoned by this peddler to buy a magical scroll for 5 shards. As there is a substantial amount of gold sigilry and runes, Bill accepts this offer.

The peddler immediately cries that he’s free and that Bill is now cursed by a god named Tambu. Before Bill can act, the peddler scarpers, leaving Bill with the equivalent of magical herpes. Now with -1 to combat, scouting and charisma, Bill heads even further south to try and lift the curse, whilst cursing his poor fiscal sense and the peddler who cursed him. It is hard to trust people in this country it seems. Despite a negative modifier to his scouting, Bill succeeds in finding food for the night before vowing to hunt down this peddler and heading north into the Gemstone hills.

One failed magic roll later and Bill heads back to Yamimura, as there is a temple to the god that cursed him (curse that peddler). Upon entering the temple, none of the shamans know how to remove the curse, nor is there any similar help in the other temples in the Plaza of the New Gods. Apparently removing curses isn’t something gods brush up on.

However, Bill stumbles towards the Tower of Bakhan, a man who is cursed to shapeshift every hour on the hour. Finding solace in another cursed soul, Bakhan reveals he can remove Bill’s curse for 100 shards, but he needs a witch’s hand and some parrot fungus to remove his own curse.

Part 2, A QUEST BEGINS: The hunt for money, hands and fungus.

Will probably be tomorrow or something, this’ll be a leisurely paced misadventure. Seriously though, fuck that peddler, bringing bad names to peddlers everywhere. >.>

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12 thoughts on “The Warlock’s Fantastical Misadventures in the Fabled Lands: Part 1, F**k that guy

    • Hey DC! It’s been a while 🙂

      Assembling the blood sword sounds much more fun than being cursed by miserable peddlers. Is the sword made of blood, or does it run off blood?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah I’ve not been on the interwebz that much actually been doing stuff although for the shame I’ve been playing magic the gathering and some infinity :). The steppie turned 16 today so I’m feeling really old but I’ve been offered a new job Night Manager for a high end hotel going to do a trial Sunday night.

        As I recall the blood Sword was actually the sword of life but it’s mythic name was the blood Sword and it was the anti undead weapon. Great series of books I loved them when I was a teenager you could do as a straight choose your own adventure or use dice and the little grid maps and be more like a proper rpg

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    • Oooh, MTG is fun though it can be worse than GW keeping up with the sets. What colours do you prefer with that? – I used to run green/blue or green/something usually when I played. Saproling tokens, saproling tokens EVERYWHERE.

      Good luck with the trial job, hope it goes well.

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      • Well I’m still a bit of a newb and I have mostly been playing with borrowed decks but I might have done some research and maybe just a squidge of scheming and maybe just maybe I might be planning a black red agro deck with ob nixillis as my planes walker and whole bunch of stompy dead things with withering touch

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Red is awesome. Lots of first-turn damage shenanigans. Plus a lot of things have haste (no summoning sickness). How does Ob nixillis work as a planeswalker? I stopped following the cards at Mirrodin/New Phyrexia.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Also, my character died in this. He climbed a mountain, died from the cold. Second character died <15mins after creation, as he was mobbed by cultists in the first town in book 3 and died through serial stabbing.

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  3. Dude that sucks you just can’t trust a cultist these days what is the world coming too 🙂

    You should look up the Blood Sword books I think you’d enjoy them actually I’ll go rummaging through some boxes if I find them I’ll email and get your postal address and send you one

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    • It would’ve gone better if he’d been wearing purple robes. Tell Lo that the HoP security is a little over zealous, but otherwise good 😛

      If you want any MTG cards, I’ve about 100 lying around from one of the more recent sets and can send them via envelope if you want some of them.

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      • That would be cool check your email and send me your address I’ll take any red or black stuff you got you never know what’s gonna come in handy. I found the second blood Sword books don’t worry they totally work as stand alone adventures and the first one although being called Blood Sword wasn’t really about the blood Sword I don’t think they knew it was gonna be a series when they wrote thefirst one. It’s a bit battered but is older than you are I’m sure it was the mid eighties when I got that

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  4. DC, a fair few of my books are older than I am! I love it! XD Even have Monty Python’s Big Red Book, Special hardcover edition (it’s a blue paperback)

    The cards are mainly from a blue/red deck plus a couple of boosters- there’s only 4 black cards, but a tonne of red. The white/blue/green you can always trade off for more relevant stuff.

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