Thought dump: A rare piece of introspection or an attempt thereof.

After a few days of back-and-forth over choosing a 30k Legion, the interim decision until the books arrive is Blood Angels. This decision is most definitely subject to change but feels ‘right’ for the most part in fulfilling two self-imposed criteria of ‘Must be Loyalist’ and ‘Must be present near or at the Battle of Terra’. Once the books and the second Calth set arrives, army composition can then take place though it really will be a case of marines in rhinos with few supporting elements.

AoS ogre painting is slowing down, if only for a desire to change things up and paint something else. The project is wholly enjoyable as I’ve been experimenting with flesh tones and trying to vary the force to push the limits regarding painting skin. I’m also finding it to be good practice in figuring out where highlights ought to go, which translates across to Malifaux where there’s less edge highlighting and more directed highlights or whatever the particular art term is, I’m not an artist. Well, not a “proper” artist armed with better brush coordination, colour wheel mastery and proper artistic nomenclature but rather simply a dude who enjoys putting paint on little plastic dudes. I’m getting there though. Cue Emperor Palpatine’s “soon…soon…*creepy old dude laugh*” quote. In other news I found an OOP mini (sadly Finecast) that I need to send away as I’ve commissioned his paintjob. The mini in question is Thorgrim Grudgebearer- Overall leader of the Dwarfs in the late-WHFB and one of the Lord choices in Total Warhammer if one chooses to play as a beer-drinking Scotsdawi. I’m kinda stoked about this commission as I’ve seen the commissioner’s skill increase by orders of magnitude since the start of the year and that’s freaking cool to be able to see that; there’s definitely a lot of enthusiasm tied up with modesty and the desire to keep pushing the limits (and this person has inspired me to lift my game though I’m nowhere near close!).

As the year draws to a close, I’m surprised at how close my graduation is despite it being at the end of 2017 and not 2016. Tomorrow the second of three placement meetings happens- though work is willing to put me on and I can get advanced standing on top of this. What it means is that instead of a 12 week long placement I can do 8 weeks, which reduces the time unpaid by 2-4 weeks (Work usually does 1/2 day, 1/2 night placements as different things happen at different times in the lab). In any case, it’s exciting. I’ve been studying at uni since 2010 and the Arc Fatigue is real. It took 2.5 years to find the degree I wanted to do and avoid being relentlessly shoehorned into research, coupled with another half year doing an interim course while I waited for the next intake. Then there was the two part-time years of 2013 and 2014, followed by quitting a job I loathed (for a multitude of reasons) and going full-time to get almost everything done. Had family situations not imploded during 2014, I probably could’ve quit 6 months earlier and be graduating this year but life is what it is and I’ve made to this stage regardless. A little late, sure, but I’m there nonetheless.

In light of the next-year graduation, I’ve been thinking about my life in the next 5-10 years and where I want to be more than what I want to do. I’ve spent a good 16 years in Queensland, moving up from South Australia in ’98 when I was 6. Right now I feel like I should aim to get a job interstate after I graduate as I feel ‘tired’ of life in QLD; or at least I am very tired of living in the suburb of Ipswich and having almost everyone else who I socialize with living 45 mins away minimum. Coupled with this is a desire to finish uni studies and actually, y’know, live. Get the job, save for a house, find someone who I can share my life with, engage in hobbies, etc. All of it really. It’s rather sad to say that I haven’t spent much thought until recently about long-term plans for the future until the aforementioned surgery was booked (and then happened). It felt really, really odd that I should be entitled to have life happen to me as it feels like it happens exclusively to other people. That I should have something that classifies as ‘life’ happen to me seemed absurd- as if a mistake was made in allocating me a piece of life. Stranger things have happened.

In lieu of anticipated gains in mobility and an almost imminent 13 week break from uni, there’s plans afoot in regards to self-betterment which includes going outside and not looking like a kinda-unfit pale wraith. Regarding work, I’m sort of itching for day shifts rather than 1830-finish shifts as I’d much rather the evening than the morning. Tis psychological in that if I have to get ready for work in the late afternoon, I feel like I can’t go anywhere during the day or at least can’t plan anything major. It’ll also free up mid-week gaming opportunities as Wednesday night is when most people seem to go gaming- weekends are filled with other commitments. Currently it’s difficult but given a year or so, there’ll be more opportunities. I’d love to stay with my current job though if I fail to obtain a scientist position shortly after graduation I’ll whore myself out application after application. While I do like the company I’m currently working for, I very much want to use my degree once I get it and that’s pretty much it regarding that. Hopefully things will work out as the company is growing quickly so expansion may be on the cards in the next year. I know I’m about fourth in pecking order regarding a scientist position so again, hopefully growth enables me to not have to leave.

While my blog isn’t the best place for a thought dump, it does feel good to get thoughts out in the open as I’m loathe to use facebook or other forms of social media. If you’ve made it this far, I appreciate the time you’ve spent reading over my thoughts and hopes. I intended this blog to be about painting bits of plastic but it feels more of my own personal thought space coupled with whatever it is I feel should be shared with the internet.

In any case:

Witty Closing Remark,
The Warlock


2 thoughts on “Thought dump: A rare piece of introspection or an attempt thereof.

  1. A blog is a fine place for introspection I say. I mean it’s basically a diary right?

    Planning is a funny thing. Some people have one seemingly from day one, the smug bastards. I’ve never had any sort of long-term plan; only short-term goals involving mastering some skill or field of knowledge. And it never occurred to me that this maybe wasn’t the best idea. I’ve had an interesting enough life so far, although with nothing to show for it in terms of owning a house or having a full-time job. I mean I have a stable relationship and a kid, so I guess I’m a grown-up. We all achieve different things at different times, it’s a shame the world pressures us with milestones etc.

    That said, I’m glad you are thinking about the future. I don’t particularly recommend my no-plan approach if you like things to be relatively stress-free. I hope you manage to stay on track. I’m sure you will.

    And who is this mysterious artist you have commissioned?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey James, thanks for dropping by.

      I do feel that the blog is better than facebook for these sorta of things as I dislike the presentation of the media there, plus there’s less….something. I don’t know how to explain but the gist of it is that I don’t feel introspection or even deep thoughts have a place on facebook as that platform seems given to superficiality in conjunction to not wanting Fb ‘friends’ to see some of the inner workings of my mind. Deep thoughts would probably also get lost in between the plethora of likes, funny images and so on.

      Your method of having immediate goals sounds better (re: cooler) than having a few vaguely defined long term ones. Outside of “Finally frikken graduating FFS it’s taken me how long?!” I don’t have any real short-term/immediate goals. The pursuit of knowledge is cool though 🙂 and while you might not recommend it I’d say it’s worked out pretty awesomely for you.

      I do think there’s other merits for judging a good life besides material possessions and a good job, it most likely comes down to whether we’re happy with where we are in life and what we’re doing. As you said, we all achieve things at different times and everyone’s goals are different though with 80 or so years given to each person on average, there’s quite a lot of adventuring to do within that span of time. As someone who’s been not-single for 6 months in his entire life, I hold people in stable relationships with a great deal of respect (and a good measure of envy). It takes effort to make it work. It truly is a shame that society tries to force milestones upon us and that we -should- have this that or the other in order to be judged as ‘successful’ in the eyes of society. Well, fuck that shit- success is what we ourselves determine it to be regardless of society’s whims.

      Mysterious painter is Charles Radford (Crate 8 Painting on FB) I have the pleasure of owning one of his minis already but having requested a commission is exciting to see all the mad skillz in person. Will need to pester him for other miniature ranges, busts and figures as I want to obtain mad skillz myself XD If it weren’t for his recommendation and GMort’s extensive encyclopedia I’d not be playing Malifaux nor trying to lift the painting skills at all. Definitely a hearty recommendation if you want a closer-to-home commission painter.

      Again, thanks for dropping by- I’ve been awaiting graduation for so long and now that it’s finally here, for reals this time (well, 4th year but it’s the final non-penultimate year) I’ve been given to think about what I want to do next.


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